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Too Young to Know. by ~sweet-Diablo:iconsweet-Diablo:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Fixed


She doesn't know much.
She is only sixteen.
But no one knows much,
of the monsters she's seen,
Or the battles she's fought,
some lost and some won.
She's made love to moonlight.
She's cradled the sun.
She's tasted the salt,
of the world's constant tears.
She has her own joys.
She has has her own fears.
She knows you are filthy.
She knows you are clean.
But she doesn't know much.
She is only sixteen.
©2006-2009 ~sweet-Diablo
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Submitted: April 19, 2006
File Size: 605 bytes
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Comments: 18
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Author's Comments

I recently turned 16. I find that you can never really figure someone out based on their age. Never assume.
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Comments


~dieinfaith:icondieinfaith: Apr 19, 2006, 3:36:53 PM
This has one of the coolest metres I have had the pleasure to read recently. The rhyme is great as it helps pull the reader through the metre. It's a wonderfull depiction of the expectations and regularities of teenage life, as well as flawed undersight of adults who deem many things worthy of censorship. Great job, powerfull language.

--
Your head in my hands, and this is, my cue, if three words could heal you, I'd only speak two...
~netminder:iconnetminder: Apr 19, 2006, 7:12:10 PM
Nicely done Jas!

--
Lie in the shadow cast by dawning truth.
~sweet-Diablo:iconsweet-Diablo: Apr 20, 2006, 10:08:58 AM
Thank you so much. Everyone likes flattering comments, but it's oh so much better when people go into detail about why they liked it. Thank you so much for the kind words.

--
Well it may be the devil, or it may be the Lord, but you're gonna have to serve somebody.
-Bob Dylan
~sweet-Diablo:iconsweet-Diablo: Apr 20, 2006, 10:09:57 AM
Thanks, any advice?

--
Well it may be the devil, or it may be the Lord, but you're gonna have to serve somebody.
-Bob Dylan
~netminder:iconnetminder: Apr 20, 2006, 10:30:35 AM
Lol, no, I really can't think of any, it's really good.

--
Lie in the shadow cast by dawning truth.
`nosugarjustanger:iconnosugarjustanger: Apr 21, 2006, 10:46:59 AM
I like the use of repetitions here. Somehow, it doesn't seem contrived. A fairly simple poem, with a nice twist in the middle. Instead of making it an ordinary poem, you made it a unique one with,

She's made love to moonlight.
She's cradled the sun.
She's tasted the salt,
of the world's constant tears.

I absolutely love this. I just turned 17, and I wish I wrote something to commemorate that.

:peace:

--
Fueled by :beer: :beer: :beer:.
~sweet-Diablo:iconsweet-Diablo: Apr 21, 2006, 5:46:06 PM
Thanks for the kind words. You know, it's not too late. You can still write a poem for your 17th year. Tell me if you're going to, I'd love to see it.

--
Well it may be the devil, or it may be the Lord, but you're gonna have to serve somebody.
-Bob Dylan
~revolvr:iconrevolvr: Apr 21, 2006, 6:37:18 PM
THIS IS AWESOME...it's reminded me of turning 16 and how life-changing it is...*gives thumbs up*

--
"There was a time... when I... fed from golden chalices. But now... Don't look at me that way!"
~sweet-Diablo:iconsweet-Diablo: Apr 21, 2006, 7:28:58 PM
I'm really glad you enjoyed it. If you enjoyed it half as much as I enjoyed this comment, I'm doing good.

--
Well it may be the devil, or it may be the Lord, but you're gonna have to serve somebody.
-Bob Dylan
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